Not for certain
by Iscriptikus
Summary: A story where Sam considers one of the greatest problems in a heterosexual woman’s life (and I am not talking sex aids…you dirty minded peoples).


Title: Not for certain  
Author: Easterly Iscriptikus;  
Spoilers: Children of God; Emancipation; The Broca Divide; First Commandment; Hathor; Enigma; Message in a bottle; Tok'ra One; The first in the Silly Feet series, by yours truly.  
Rating:GGGG. This is an explorative piece in the literal sense. You want rampant sexual escapades; you'll just have to wait.  
Contents: Some implied/recalled stuff; some swearing I think (I can't remember). Some funny bits and lots of SG-SG1 lore, etc.  
Summary: A story where Sam considers one of the greatest problems in a heterosexual woman's life (and I am not talking sex aids…you dirty minded peoples).  
Time Period: At the end of season Two.  
Disclaimer: All characters and property of Stargate: SG1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corporation and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was made for entertainment purposes and without profit. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Any similarity to real persons, alive or not, is pure coincidence. Other characters, the storyline and the story itself are property of the author. However, I did have some script accuracy help from K. Siegfried (Niamh)'s 'G.I Sam' and OXBastetOX's 'Man I feel like a woman' as I didn't become a big fan until most of the way through first season.  
Note: Don't put this else where unless you ask or I beg you to.  
  
****  
The Briefing Room  
  
It had been one extraordinarily long day and the misadventures on PX____, had resulted in sand getting in everywhere. I absently scratched my head for the one-hundredth time, while waiting for the debriefing to finish.  
  
Daniel was taking his usual pace in explaining the encounter with the oppressed Medunat or 'Children of Medusa'. Medusa, a goa'uld, who had enslaved the primitives and turned them into human/reptilian hybrids, had escaped the retribution of her children through the StarGate, leaving behind a people without a god, but with their freedom.  
  
Finally Daniel finished and Doctor Fraiser briefed them on the condition of SG14, who had been infected with a similar retrovirus that had transformed the primitives. They all were on their way to recovery, the virus's effects reversed in time.  
  
I sighed silently in relief and scratched again. When this was over, I was going home and showering…a lot.Janet finished quickly and Hammond dismissed them after saying we had a weekend free, My smile was quick and I nearly fled the room, waving goodbye to the rest of SG1. Jack looked at Daniel.  
"Where could she be going in such a hurry?"  
Daniel shrugged. How would he know?  
  
****  
Sam's house, the shower.   
  
I leaned forward and rubbed my scalp with my fingertips, trying to dislodge the last of the grains. "Holy Hannah!" I declared in frustration.  
  
" I'm probably going to wake uptomorrow with enough sand on my pillow to fill a desert!"  
I rinsed one more time for luck and then went to turn off the shower.  
  
However, my hand never reached the taps. Memories unbidden cascaded through my mind like the water from the showerhead.  
I couldn't help but shiver as strong hands lifted and held me, and a mouth with a warm, soft, urgent tongue tasted the curves of my neck, up to my ear, where my lobes were treated to a gentle grazing of teeth."Whoa!" I yelped, as the water suddenly turned icy.  
  
"What the hell was…whoa…"When my hand finally got to the taps, I leaned forward and rested my head on the moist tiles of the shower stall.  
  
I shivered again, but not from the cooler air coming in from outside of the stall. Whatever that had been just now, had gone right down to my toes…and it was so obviously not mine.I would certainly have remembered such a delicious sensation and treasured it for my many night alone.  
  
Jolinar…it was 'her' memory of a moment with Lantash/Martouf. I sighed as she reached for a towel…there was this distinct feeling that it was going to be a long night.  
  
****  
Sam's house, her bedroom.  
  
The tossing and turning continued for several hours. I pretended to smother myself with her pillow and groaned. Oh well, I had a couple of days to try and get some sleep…or at least some tear-jerker movie time. Maybe Janet would like to come over and we could cry together over 'Steel Magnolias' or 'Thelma and Louise'.Was Janet even a crying over a movie type of person?  
  
Mmmm…where was the phone  
  
****  
Later, Sam's house, lounge room  
  
"So how's Cassandra?" I queried.  
"She's at a slumber party at the moment, probably getting up to all sorts of mischief." Smiled Janet.   
Then the smile went wry."So why am I really here? I'm pretty certain it's more than just drooling over cute guys and crying at sad moment."  
"Ever perceptive Janet. You should be a detective. Instead you get to look forward to Jack griping after every mission."  
"Jack hey? When did he stop becoming O'Neill?"  
  
"Um…slight Freudian slip…he's sorta what I wanted to talk about."  
  
"Well now, onto the juicy stuff!"  
"Well, it's more than just Jack. It's men in general. If it's not my dad, then it's Jack or Martouf, Jonah, Simmons, even Daniel and Teal'c."  
"Whoa there girl! Are we talking some kinda weird group thing here?"  
"Arg No! It's men. They're my problem."  
  
"Well isn't that the case for all of us? But come on, my mother once said 'a woman without a man is a fish without a bicycle'. You don't really need them, so why all the stress?""Geez, Doc. You sound more cynical than I am."  
"I was married once remember."  
  
"Oh yeah…""Now fess up. Give me the skinny of the men problem and I will be your faithful listening tree."  
"Listening tree? How much of that wine did you drink?"  
"Oh you know what I mean."  
  
****  
Children of the Gods  
  
"She is transferring from the Pentagon."  
  
Well, that made him turn. He examined me in my dress blues, from top to toes. Then he extended his hand to shake, but I wasn't having any of that.  
  
I snapped to and gave him a crisp salute. He returned it as crisply, out of habit.  
  
"Captain Samantha Carter, reporting Sir!"  
  
Fortunately, Hammond interrupted our little staring contest.  
"Let's get started."  
  
He turned to O'Neill. "Colonel?"  
  
O'Neill cleared his throat and returned his focus to the task at hand."Right. For those of you on your first trip through the Gate, you should be prepared for what to expect."  
  
Oh, that barb was so aimed at me.  
  
"I've practically memorised your report from the first mission. I like to think I've been preparing for this all my life." I retorted.  
  
"Um." Interrupted Kawalsky. "I think what the Colonel is trying to say is…have you ever pulled out of a simulated bombing run in an F-16 at eight-plus G's?"  
  
Score one for the guys.  
  
"Yes." Said I.  
  
Chew on that boys.  
  
"Well, it's way worse than that."   
  
Or maybe not.  
  
"By the time you get to the other side you're frozen stiff, like you've just run through a blizzard naked."  
  
Ferrenti just had to put his two cents in…and O'Neill could barely keep the chuckle in.  
  
"That's from the compression your molecules undergo during the millisecond required for reconstitution."  
  
Was someone at least keeping score???  
  
"Ah! Here we go. Not another scientist, please?!?" Mock begged O'Neill to Hammond.  
  
"Theoretical astrophysicist."   
  
Cool as can be.  
  
"Which means what exactly?"  
"Which means she is smarter than you are, Colonel." Hammond quipped. "Especially in the matters relating to the StarGate."  
  
I could sense that Ferrenti and Kawalsky were hiding smiles.  
  
"Colonel, I was studying Gate technology for two years before Daniel Jackson made it work and before you both went through. I should have gone through then. Sir, you and your men might as well accept the fact that I am going through this time."  
  
Oh yeah. Can you hear that glass ceiling shattering?  
  
"With all due respect, Doctor-"  
  
"In the military it's proper to refer to a person by their rank, not their title. You should call me Captain, not Doctor."  
  
I could see he was losing his temper at being corrected by a subordinate. He did outrank me after all.  
  
"Captain Carter's assignment to this unit is not an option. It's an order."  
  
And I just had to get a bit more in.  
  
"I'm an air force officer, just like you are Colonel, and just because my reproductive organs are inside instead of outside doesn't mean I can't handle whatever you can handle."  
  
I bet he was feeling the air of my challenge. But then he turned the tables on me…damn the man."Oh! This has nothing to do with you being a woman! It's scientists I have a problem with."  
  
Grrrrr.  
  
"Colonel, I logged over a hundred hours in enemy airspace during the Gulf War. Is that tough enough for you? Or are we going to arm wrestle?"  
****  
Emancipation  
  
The dress was quite lovely, but really wasn't _me. And then I got an audience. The tent flap opened and Daniel, Teal'c, the Colonel and the chief's son entered.  
  
I put my hands on my hips.  
  
"Daniel! Find me an anthropologist that dresses like this and I'll eat this headdress!"  
  
The looks on their faces were a genuine Kodak(tm) moment. Daniel and the chief's son were both suffering from a bad case of 'hanging open mouth'. Teal'c had a surprised, almost happy look on his face. And the Colonel…well he just smiled…well 'smile' was an understatement. He was in dopey grin territory.   
  
The chief's son was the first one to recover his voice."You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."  
  
Then something seemed to click in his head and he left the tent in haste.  
  
I felt the dreaded, betraying blush reach my cheeks. How was I going to get out of this? I quickly cleared my throat.  
  
"The kid mustn't get out much."  
  
I moved and the damn material cut right into me. And then the bloody veil flopped back down. Alright! That was it!  
  
"Look, I will NOT wear this thing over my face." I grumbled, as I grabbed the veil. "I don't care how much embroidery it has on it, and this dress." And I turned around to prove my point. "Or whatever it is called- I can't move, I can't breathe. I can't walk!"  
  
And then he opened his mouth.  
  
"I like it." And with that _he_ stepped around the other two who seemed glued to the ground and man!   
  
Was Daniel even breathing?  
  
"Whoa." Said the Colonel. "It kinda works for me." Then he was a hand in front of Daniel's face and he turned back to me. "It's you."  
  
Daniel finally made a response and nodded like a guy no longer thinking with his brain.  
  
"Yes, you. Very you."  
  
I rolled my eyes in disgust. Did O'Neill _have_ to do that?!?  
  
****  
Broca Divide  
  
On reflection, inhibitions exist, more often to protect us than not.  
  
It is said that civilised creatures tend to have them more than those uncivilised- animals having none unless we domesticate them.   
  
So what do I do when these 'inhibitions' of mine, carefullyhoned and developed over time, crumble like dust?  
  
I was feeling really hot…and in more ways than one. I shucked off my army issue shirt and used it to wipe the sheen of sweat from my forehead.   
  
Oh yeah. I needed a cold shower, like right now.But it was too late.  
  
Turning the corner, I spotted something better.  
  
"Carter! Uh…sorry, didn't know you were in here."And I lost control. I lunged for his lips.  
  
Jack pushed me back. He attempted a "NO!" but his complaint was muffled.  
  
He pushed me again.  
  
"What the heck is going on?"  
  
"I want you!" I gasped before kissing him again.  
  
He pushed me away.  
  
"Why?…I mean No!"He tried to get some leverage.  
  
"Carter, this is out of line, don't ya think?!?"  
  
His leverage slipped and I tripped him onto the bench in front of the lockers. Then I climbed on top and continued kissing him. I couldn't understand why he was struggling."Don't you want me?"  
  
"Well, no. I mean not like this. Fer cryin' out-" Again his voice was muffled by my kissing.  
  
"CARTER! What's gotten into you!"  
  
He then twisted us, so we landed on the floor, him on top.  
  
"It's time you saw a doctor, Doctor.  
  
"****  
Sam's place, lounge room.  
  
"Whoa! Kissing Jack, hey! That must have been some interesting psychological thing."  
  
I couldn't help but groan. But Janet was excited and wanted to know more."Was he any good?"  
  
"Well…he was fighting me off at the time, so I didn't have much of a chance think about it."  
  
"I'll never look at him in the same way again. How very gentlemanly of him."Yeah, really."  
  
"Yeah…you mentioned Jonah. Want to talk about it? Friend to friend of course."  
  
"Oh. Well, tissues and humiliation all around."  
  
****  
First Commandment  
  
"Well, it's about time…and you said I'd never amount to anything."  
  
It was one of my worst fears. I had known him better than most and Jonah had never been completely stable.  
  
"I was your one failure."  
  
Damn him. I actually had felt love for the bastard. And I believed I'd needed him. He filled the gap that my studies and work did not.  
  
"You had the gun. You appeared to have all the power. And I was in control. That is the strength of a god."  
  
I could have done it there and then…  
  
"…All along I've been looking for God…and here_I_am!"  
  
But I couldn't. As usual he tried baiting, trying to get me to do something I'd regret.  
  
"Thou shalt not kill."  
  
Jack was there.  
  
"There's no badge of honour in killing someone."  
  
Soothing me.  
  
"Every time you break that commandment, you take one step closer to becoming Hansen (Jonah)."  
  
Always making it better.  
  
What was it Hansen said?  
  
"Healer of the emotionally wounded."  
  
Yeah…that's me. Scientist. Captain…Healer. Hrmph.  
  
****  
  
Sam's place, the kitchen.  
  
"Well, it sucked."  
  
"And Jack being all sweet and fatherly."  
  
"Ick! Please don't say it like that!"  
  
"Now onto poor, poor Lieutenant Simmons."  
  
"Aw gee."  
  
****  
  
Message in a bottle  
  
I don't recall having many serious crushes.   
  
Maybe Matt Manson, but that was more hero worship than anything else. I mean when you have an action figure of the guy- well it…oh you get the idea.  
  
That is probably why I have avoided the situation like the plague…even if I was interested, I wouldn't know what to do.   
  
I mean come on- my dad would say that in the military, relationships only work if one of us isn't in the military; we share rank and get promoted at the same time.   
  
That and seafarers and fly-boys don't mix.  
  
And worse, I didn't even notice until Daniel pointed the fact to me- right in front of the poor guy.  
  
Though I admit, I'm glad Jack wasn't the one who pointed this out.  
  
****  
  
Sam's lounge room"Come on Sam. He is a cutie though."  
  
"Really? You think."  
  
"Well puppy love does put this certain glow in their eyes that would in other circumstances make me think they were on drugs. And get this- we should make SG-1 Dolls."  
  
"Oh yeah I can see that…Action Jack O'Neill armed with witty one-liners. Can we just get on with this?"  
  
"Righty then. Next!"  
  
"Oh. The worst…best one. Martouf."  
  
I regaled everything since I started remembering stuff that Jolinar had left in my head when the Ashrak killed her.   
  
All the juicy bits… well the couple of juicy bits.  
  
"And he is so the dish! And you'd never get bored with him, seeing as he is a goa'uld, er sorry, _Tok'ra_. And if Martouf runs out of things to talk about, you could chat with Lantash. And those eyes. Big sigh. Blue eyes."  
  
"Drool much there. Would you like a bib?"  
  
"You must agree with me on that? Tell me you do, or I'm scheduling you for an eye check up."  
  
"Okay he is a beautiful man, who is nice and strong and a …Tok'ra. It's just that I could never be certain if it was me he loved or the memory of Jolinar."  
  
Janet poured herself another glass.  
  
"I must admit that with all the men in your life, it does seem a bit more interesting."  
  
"Oh yeah and saving our lives everyday because Jack ticked someone off or because Daniel touched something he shouldn't have, is uninteresting?"  
  
Janet laughed and I couldn't help joining in.  
  
"It seems to be that way a lot, doesn't it."  
  
More giggles.  
  
****  
  
Hathor  
  
"Well mama said there would be days like this."  
  
"Actually, my ex-husband said that- 'You out of your mind, honey-bun? Here's a reason its called _this_ man's _army_'."  
  
"This man's army? Your husband actually said that!?!"  
  
"Yeah. So of course I explained to him it was the air-force and they've had woman for decades."  
  
"I don't know, but maybe it's just me, but I can't figure out how to be one of theGuys with the guys. You know what I mean? I always feel like I'm 'the' girl."  
  
Then Janet's light bulb went off.  
  
"That's it! You just gave me an idea on how to get us out of here. If Hathor's control drug is hormone driven like I think it is, that means she's making men libidinous."  
  
Then I realised she was grinning.  
  
"Why do I feel like I don't like where this is heading?"…  
  
"So you're saying this is making the men." I hesitated."Libatious."  
  
And Janet was still smiling.  
  
I got a doubt.  
  
"You know, using seduction wasn't in any of the AF training manuals I've ever read."  
  
But Janet wasn't having any of that.  
  
"Do you think the Pentagon ever anticipated a four thousand year old alien drugging all the men to make them-"  
  
"Libidinous." I quickly provided.  
  
"Yeah". She said.  
  
I hesitated.  
  
"Well. I do suppose they did train to take advantage of enemies weakness."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
I looked at her closely. She was enjoying this waaaay too much.  
  
"Ok, let's do it."  
  
****  
  
Monday morning, after mission briefing  
  
As I went over the inventory for my pack, I reached into my locker and my hand absently brushed against something hard.  
  
Then, like a delightful spring day…butterflies, flowers, a spring brook and birds even hummed through me.I pulled my hand back with the small device held carefully with my fingertips.  
  
Of, course. Narim's device. How could I have left it there? Well at least one thing was for certain. Narim did have some pretty nice feelings for me. Sigh. I wondered if he still felt the same way after all this time. I also couldn't help but wonder if Schroeder. And how would the Nox have reacted to a cat? Did he miss me? Then I paused."I meant the cat."  
  
Janet gave me a look.  
  
"Did you say something?"  
  
"Uh...no…just thinking out loud.""About a cat."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Uh huh and this isn't a shred of evidence that we drank enough wine to sink a ship on Saturday?"  
  
"Ha ha. No it's this."  
  
I held out the Tollan device to her. Janet gave me a knowing look.  
  
"Okay…fess. What is it?"  
  
"It's a Tollan device for recording emotions."  
  
"Tollan…oh yes- cat. I think I understand. But why isn't it at Area 51? Are you being naughty? I hope I don't get blamed for having an unduly influence on you. "  
  
Here." I held the device out to her.   
  
"Hold it like this and close your eyes."  
  
Janet followed my instructions and after a moment, she sighed.  
  
"And who gave this to you?"  
  
"Narim. The really nice one. It's a pity I can't drop him a line, ask him how he's been and all _that_ sorta stuff."  
  
"Well he liked you _a lot_."  
  
I nodded. Yeah. A lot.  
  
I retrieved the device and tucked in the back of my locker.  
  
"You know I was thinking. Martouf said that the Tok'ra were friends with the Tollan. Could this mean that they know each other?"  
  
"Geez Sam, quit waving the red flag at the bull. It would only be more interesting. Add one Jack O'Neill to the fray and we'd have quite a party."  
  
"What's this about me and a party?" Ground out Jack from behind me.  
  
Eeek.  
  
I stared daggers at Janet as a big blush fused my cheeks.  
  
"Yes, well I better get to medical. See you all when you get back."  
  
I tried to focus on the inventory, but the eyes in the back of my head could feel Jack staring at me.  
  
"Are you going to tell me or not?" He queried in a 'curious Jack' tone.  
  
Fortunately Daniel walked in with Teal'c close behind."Time to go guys."  
  
Jack gave me the look from front on. I almost giggled and then I took a deep breath.  
  
"Oh nothing, Colonel."  
  
And I was out of there like the Flash.  
  
Janet was waiting in the corridor.  
  
"I should strangle you for that. I can't believe you said that. I am so embarrassed."  
  
"Ah- you flyboys can't take the heat."  
  
"Hey! Gulf War airtime here! But now he's going to look at me funny, all mission."  
  
The conversation drifted down the corridor.  
  
Neither of us, however, noticed that the walls rippled slightly as we went past.  
  
-END FINI FINISH thend heh heh…(There will be more to come...I hope.) 


End file.
